


In the Leaving

by starcrossreylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, there will be a part two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-10-12 20:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starcrossreylo/pseuds/starcrossreylo
Summary: She thought she had what she needed in life. Her lavender, her herbs, her meadow.Until it was taken away, leaving her to find refuge in the arms of Ben Solo.But knowledge is only found in the leaving.Witchcraft!AU I had in the back of my mind for years and finally wrote it out.





	1. Chapter 1

Peace radiated from the old white cottage at the center of the Flander Meadow property. It lay in the middle of a clearing amidst a nest of wildflowers, encircled by tall pine trees. Other than the grass rustling, it was silent.The house’s white paint was peeling from its sides, leaving uneven dark brown patterns. Hanging above an open window, a bundle of dried lavender blew softly in the breeze, greeting the midnight summer air. Here, the energies of existence were at peace.

Until the men came. 

They snatched the woman from her bed, clad only in her nightgown. She struggled to fight them off, but they tied her arms behind her back and shoved her into the dirt. Her breath hitched as they pushed her nightgown up her legs. Her heart was racing, until she felt one of the men put his hand there. It stopped beating. Was this what the goddesses planned for her? What had she done wrong?

She shuddered when the hand disappeared, but she could only hear the men grunting and bickering behind her. Rey didn’t have the time to say anything as she was lifted up again, the hands returning to wander over her clothes. She closed her eyes and wished the demons away. 

“Stop touching the witch, you’ll taint your soul,” ordered one of them, causing Rey to snap her head.  _ Witch _ . They had found her. They knew _ . _

The word was like a spark, turning her into a raging fire, fighting harder. Her fists met air more than flesh, until the men captured them behind her back, binding them together. Her feet were bound, and their hands lingered against her shins. As she was pressed further into the grass, her sweat turned the dirt beneath her into mud, the ground accepting her fluids as a sacrifice. She wanted the earth to swallow her up, but there was no give as the men bore down. She couldn’t breathe. 

She had to get away, but there were too many of them. She couldn’t breathe. One… Five… She counted eight men who’d all come to seize her. She had to get away. The ropes were her bane, rubbing her wrists raw, kissing fire into her skin. She couldn’t free herself. She had no herbs or plants to help her. 

She had to get away.

They dragged Rey to the woods, where the path began to ignite. More people were tromping through the woods, fiery torches lighting their way. Her stomach dropped as she came to a clearing. She struggled harder, fighting the men’s grips. 

She kept struggling even as they tied her to the logs and tied a blindfold over her eyes. A priest started chanting from his holy book, cursing her to Hell, to live amongst the demons and to never harm them again.

The heat started slowly, traveling in waves. She gasped for fresh air. Why did her goddess do this to her? From behind the blindfold, she could see the light of the orange flames, dancing like her coven on a full moon. Her world was smoke and flames, her senses overwhelmed. 

_ Breathe in.  _ This is what her goddess had planned.  _ Breathe out. _ This was her fate.  _ Breathe in. _ Her death must be deserved, must be what her goddess wished.  _ Breathe out.  _ The Earth called her home, to lie forever in the dirt. 

She screamed in pain.

* * *

The first thing she noticed was softness cradling her entire body.

Her bed was not this soft. 

Rey shifted carefully, trying to figure out where she was. Muted sunshine shone through the lace curtains flirting with the wind through the open window. Had her goddess blessed her with another life? 

Rey sat up, running her hands over her tender thighs. The room was well lit, and the warm morning breeze caressed her skin. She wore a white shirt that most definitely wasn’t hers. Rey gently stood, her body aching, the wooden floor creaking. She whispered a spell to mask the sound, digging a nail into her skin to offer her goddess a sacrifice. Her footsteps were quiet as she crept through the lavish house. 

It was old but well kept, the walls showing their age with paint faded by the bright sunlight. The wood was warm under her feet, but eventually betrayed her halting footsteps. She frowned, noting the spell had worn off, but started down the stairs. If the owner had brought her here, they already knew she was here. Rey was assured by her current state of...well, being alive, that they didn’t want her dead either. 

Who was her hero?

After a few moments of gawking at the large foyer, Rey stiffened. Footsteps were moving through the house, and they were not hers, nor were they soft. With a tilt of her head, Rey determined quickly that whoever was coming for her would be too large to fight off. 

Her heart plummeted when she saw how right she was. 

He was large, much larger than the people she had seen in her village. Entranced, she took a step closer. The man was beautiful, with soulful eyes staring back at her. He was dressed well, unsurprising considering the surrounding economic situation. 

“You are Rey Jakkudottir.” His voice was deep and penetrating.

He knew her real name. Her coven name. 

“Jackson,” she corrected, taking a step backward, retreating. Her fear returned...

She had to get away. 

The man smiled tightly and leaned against the doorframe. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched her for a moment. 

“No. We both know that I was right the first time, but don't be scared. Any daughter of Medeina is welcome here.” 

Only coven members knew the true name of their goddess. Rey’s forehead wrinkled with worry. There had never been male members in her coven. Unless…

“Kovas,” she named. “You are from the coven of Kovas.” 

The man dipped his head in affirmation and then tipped his head to the side. 

“I am,” he said, “Well, I was. I’ve...retired.” 

Retired. Rey knew that one did not retire from a coven, which meant he had been exiled. Why? She promised herself she would find out later. First, she needed to know why she was here. 

“Did you save me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s the only answer that you’re going to get.”

Rey crossed her arms, squinting at him. She didn’t know him. Who was he to withhold secrets from her? 

She bit her lip, analyzing the possibilities for her future. The Kovas were notorious followers of the Left-Hand Path, opting for nontraditional methods that upset nature’s order . If he was Kovas, then he was dangerous– unpredictable. Her eyes drifted over his shoulder, to a large painting on the wall. It was a coat of arms, one with which she was very familiar.  _ Skywalker. _

“You’re Ben Organa, aren’t you?” she breathed. “Your uncle-”

“My uncle,” Ben interrupted, standing tall, “will not be spoken of while you are here. He may be your Grand Magus, but he is not mine.” He paused for a moment, clearly debating whether he should continue or not. “My mother has asked that I host you until the search dies down.” 

His mother. Leia. A powerful witch and a leader of her coven, who Rey greatly admired, but barely knew. After all, their coven was large, and Rey had done little to earn her leader’s attention.

“Why?”

He smirked. 

“Because she thinks you are valuable. Although from where I’m standing, I have no idea why…”

Rey pursed her lips. The nerve of him. He didn’t know her. She wanted to run, to push the man away from her. But if Leia wanted her to stay, she would. 

But she needed to meet with her mentor before she trusted the man in front of her. 


	2. Chapter 2

Ben indulged her desire to speak with Leia personally, and Leia had assured her that her son wouldn’t hurt or betray her. Rey learned a lot of information about Ben Organa from his mother: when he was born, what his childhood was like, all memories that Leia recalled fondly. What Rey hadn’t expected though, was Ben having been a Grand Magus of his coven. Leia was vague, but Rey concluded that something tragic had happened and that Ben left. 

And Rey wanted to know. She needed to find out why he had left a Grand Magus’s power and safety behind. 

She sat on Leia’s large kitchen counter, humming as she cut up lavender Leia had brought her. A teaspoon of lavender, chamomile flowers and dried crushed rosemary in a muslin bag left in a hot bath, added with yarrow-brewed tea, of course, was a guaranteed way to ward off negativity. She hummed a tune, lost in the motion of plucking the purple buds from their stalk. Her legs swung, and she tried to forget the bruises that marked her pale skin. 

“You should add Pennyroyal.”

The depth of his voice alone struck a nerve, startling Rey more than she would have liked to admit. In a flash, her mind transported her back to the dark meadow, breathing in the dirt, a sharp, heavy weight pressed against her chest. But in a blink, she was back in the kitchen. 

“Don’t do that,” she murmured, looking down at the now crushed lavender buds. 

Ben said nothing, just slowly placed himself within her field of view, leaning against the large middle kitchen island . Dressed in black trousers and a black shirt, he looked out of place in the white kitchen. 

Rey didn’t think this house had any color in it. 

Her heart calmed as she stared at him, as he watched her intensely. 

“Why did you give it up?” she asked. “Why did you give up being Grand Magus?”

The way he shifted told her that he was uncomfortable with the question. 

She hoped he trusted her enough to tell her. After all, he was protecting her from witch hunters. In an attempt to comfort him, to lure the truth from him, she moved beside him, placing a hand on his. It was silent for a few moments, before his sigh filled the quiet, and he began to speak. 

“When I was 22, I... I fell in love. We married and had a child together within a year and a half,” Ben said, reaching to touch the small amulet that hung from his neck. “My wife died giving birth; when my daughter was four, she was stolen from me and sacrificed by another coven. Thus, I left all of it, and I am no longer a believer in Kovas. Nor any other god. No god of mine would let that happen.” 

Rey blinked. She wasn’t expecting a story like his. Her heart ached for him; she knew how it was to have a family who left you behind, in one way or another. 

She squeezed his hand, letting him know that he wasn’t alone. He didn’t have to suffer alone anymore. His sad eyes met hers, before glancing away to look at his shoes. They were silent, until the fire in the brick oven popped, startling Rey. 

Her giddy aunt, she had forgotten her potion. She scrambled away, her cheeks flaming. Biting her lip, she leaned over the cauldron. 

_ Kriffing hells.  _ Milk curdles floated erroneously on top of the light green potion she’d been simmering. She let out a sigh and moved to grab the handle of the cauldron, only to find a much larger hand encasing hers. 

“Let me,” Ben said. “What were you trying to make?”

“A recovery spell,” she replied, rubbing her arms, trying to chase away his touch. “I don’t know why it decided not to work this time…”

“Jupiter is in Taurus right now. A recovery spell never works when Jupiter is in Taurus.”

She watched as he easily took the cast iron into his hand, and carried it out to pour into the grass. Rey winced as smoke rose up, the liquid sizzling the vegetation. He looked at her and then down into the now empty cauldron. Then, he saw something that must have been funny, because his deep laugh resonated through the kitchen. A slight smile on his face, he set the cauldron on the counter. 

“You need a teacher.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please comment! I would LOVE concrit, if you have any!


	3. Chapter 3

Rey had not planned on singeing Ben’s eyebrow off. She supposed, however, that’s for what he signed up when he offered to teach her. They stood in his kitchen, a putrid potion splashed against the walls. He sighed and wiped the mess from his face. It had been the third time that he’d gotten in her potions’ crossfire. It was an advanced one, and Rey kept getting distracted by his large hands covering hers while she waved them in a pattern over the flagon - only for it to splash up into their faces. 

She laughed, wiping the potion from her face. After the first accident, she made an ointment that helped their skin heal in a few hours. It burned, but she didn’t mind, especially with Ben pressed tightly against her in the narrow kitchen.

She knew nothing could happen between them, especially when he’d already suffered so much loss. He needed time to heal, time which hadn’t already soothed his wounds. 

“You almost had it,” he noted, wiping his face as well. “But you’re still not saying it right. It’s _medicus sana_.” 

“_Sana_,” she repeated, drawing the vowels out. 

Ben dipped his head in affirmation. 

Rey sighed, grabbed the small flagon, and went to clean off the spoiled potion. She let the water cleanse the metal, while Ben wiped the walls. They worked in silence, the air comfortable between them. She was wiping the counters while Ben poured them both a mug of wine. She smiled, taking the cool glass from him, and followed him out onto the porch. The sun was setting, and wine at sunset had become their ritual as the days spent together turned into weeks.

They sat on the stairs, staring out at the meadow before them. His house was positioned in a way that allowed them to see the sunset clearly. 

Their arms rubbed together as Rey lifted the mug to her mouth, tasting the sweet pomegranate. She hummed, listening to cicadas and frogs sing their ballads to the night. She hadn’t heard frogs since that night. She took a deep breath, and was taken back to her meadow. Rey pulled her shawl closer, whispering a spell to ward off bad luck. 

“Are you okay?” Ben murmured, glancing over at her, his pomegranate-stained lips parting in concern. She shook her head, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“I just want to forget,” she said, wistfully gazing into the waning sun. “But every time I go to sleep, I can only feel their fingers in places they shouldn’t be. I don’t know if I’ll be able to feel again without thinking of those men.”

Finishing his wine, Ben said, “The pain never really goes away. Not completely. It just fades, until something reminds you of the trauma. And then it’s a step back. You can never avoid it. You just have to accept it and try to move on; try to remember that it’s just you now, and you can only trust yourself.”

Rey frowned. She reached and placed her hand on his, squeezing lightly. She could only hope that he knew she would be there for him, to comfort and support him, as he had done that for her. 

Her breath hitched when he clasped her hand, surprising her. Her eyes were sharp, though the wine was making her feel like she was floating in the sunlight. He lifted her hand, and pressed a kiss to her palm. She breathed out slowly, watching as his eyes closed, his lashes resting on his cheeks. His lips lingered, his breath suspended, only escaping with a shaky exhale as she moved her hand to cup his cheek. She shifted closer, gifting him with her kiss, allowing him to taste her stained lips. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her into his lap.

Their foreheads rested against each other after their kiss broke. In the midst of nature’s splendors, they sat, enjoying each other’s company. 

She would help him. 

May her goddess be her witness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls validate me and leave a comment lol


	4. Chapter 4

“For the last time,” Ben said, slamming his fist on the wooden counter. “That is not how you do that spell.”

Rey frowned, looking down. She knew that this incantation was important, but her mistake didn’t warrant his burst of malice. She stood quietly, staring at her shoes until she heard his heavy breathing turn into a sigh. 

“That was uncalled for,” she said, looking up at him. 

His cheeks were red, his chest rising rapidly. His fists unfurled, and he took a step towards her. Rey raised a hand, pressing it against his chest to prevent him from coming further. 

“No, you need to cool off.”

“That spell will save your life. You have got to get it right. I don’t know why you can’t remember it. It’s something that children do.”

“You forget, Mr. _ Organa _,” Rey snapped, shoving him back. “Some people didn’t grow up with families in the craft. Some people didn’t have families at all. Go, take a walk. Cool down. If you’re going to be my teacher you need to learn some patience, because compared to you, I’m relatively new to this.”

Ben took a step back as she shoved him again, with both hands this time. He wasn’t the only one who had a temper. He probably regretted helping her, thought that she had no drive to use her own power.

He grunted, clearly frustrated, and left her alone in the kitchen. 

Rey sighed and began to clean up their mess. Laughter had filled the kitchen, before irritation had taken its place. She would have to make a smudge stick later, and chase the negative energy away from the house. The stress of having to keep her hidden from the human world must be taking a toll on them. Just the other day, they were nearly caught by humans, wrapped in an embrace, stealing kisses in the meadow. 

The sun had begun to set as she prepared dinner without him, gulping the pomegranate wine from the bottle. By the time she was done cooking, Ben still hadn’t returned. She was on her own, drunk and playing with her food in the candlelight. His plate sat across from hers on the table, the food turning cold. Rey stood, swaying on her feet, and grabbing both of their plates, she resigned herself to cleaning up alone, too. 

Wiping her weary eyes, she sniffled, trying not to let the tears betray her to the emptiness of the house, the emptiness she felt inside. She sensed he wouldn’t be returning, but that didn’t stop her from waiting for him on the porch. Rey rested her spinning head against the railing, leaning against it as she stared into the darkness. 

He wasn’t coming home tonight. 

* * *

Rey groaned, rolling into the warm heat beside her. She yawned, rubbing her eyes, and froze. She was lying beside Ben, dressed only in her undergarments. She looked up, finding his soulful brown eyes staring back at her. 

“I owe you an apology,” he admitted. “I acted irrationally, and I am sorry.”

Rey looked back down, tucking her face back into his side. She had heard once if you wanted more of an explanation, you should be silent and it would come.

The saying didn’t fail. 

“When my daughter–when Julia was taken–I tried to use that spell to save her. And I failed. That’s why I was so harsh with you.” His hand drifted to her stomach, which fluttered in response. “When you practice enough, the pronunciation will become second nature, and save your life when you’re panicking. I hadn’t practiced enough.”

Rey found his hand, and squeezed it.   
“Nothing is going to happen to me,” she whispered. “I’ll be okay.”

They lay in silence, both worrying about the future, until Rey couldn’t stand it any longer. 

“Nothing is going to happen to me.” She repeated it over and over, like an incantation. She vowed it while their bodies were pressed together, joined as one, and again, in the after-bliss, as they drifted to sleep. A promise they both knew deep down, was a lie. 

* * *

Days passed, counted in longer and longer kisses, more difficult incantations, and sunlit evenings draped with memories and the taste of pomegranate sweet on their tongues.

They were in their own oasis, just the two of them with the sunlight caught in between. 

Until the day when the oasis disappeared.

Rey was cleaning the house when she heard the knock at the door. She froze. Ben had gone to the nearest village to replenish their supplies, and they hadn’t been expecting company. She tiptoed her way to the door, glancing through the windows. 

Magus Elder Snoke_ . _

She threw the door open, forgetting she still held a mop. She whispered under her breath, the mop leaving her hand and finding its way back to the closet. 

“Magus Elder,” she whispered, wiping her hands on her dress. “I- We weren’t expecting you. Ben isn’t here right now, but he’ll be back shortly.”

“No need,” he said, blue eyes meeting hers. “I wanted to speak with you. May I come in?”

“Of course.”

Rey stepped aside, berating herself for being so unprepared. She motioned for him to sit in the living room, quickly waving her hand to reheat the kettle she’d boiled earlier. Rey threw her tea set together, wanting to bring him the best tea she could offer. She set the tray down, and quickly poured them a cup to calm her shaking hands. Sitting, she turned to the Magus Elder. 

“What brings you here, Magus?”

Ben had told her what had happened, how his old mentor had betrayed him in a whirl of deceit, had nearly killed him. It had taken the death of Ben’s family for him to forgive Snoke, even after he had learned of the supposed spell that had influenced the Magus Elder. He had needed a support system, and Snoke took advantage of Ben’s vulnerabilities, even when he left the coven. 

“You need to leave Ben.”

She didn’t know if he had cast a spell, or had a charm, but the air was stolen from her lungs. 

“What? I thought-”

He held up a hand and silenced her. 

“We both know that you don’t plan on sticking around. You are a wanderer, and this is the longest you’ve been in one place. Five years, I believe. I’ve looked into your history, Rey Jakkudottir. If you stay, you’ll only break his heart. Think of it as letting him get over it faster, since there aren’t as many bonds between you. If you left, you would be benefiting both yourself and Ren.”

Rey was silent, utterly stunned. She didn’t know what to say. 

“It’s clear you’ve tried to help him, and indeed he’s been practicing magic more and more with you, and for that, I’m grateful. Of course, your efforts at his rehabilitation would be compensated, and you, yourself, would be offered a position in Boston, caring for young witches who have lost their parents,” Snoke said, setting his teacup down. “And naturally, just think of the positive outcomes for Ben.”

Rey remained quiet, unable to form words, unable to even think.

Snoke smiled, but it was an empty movement, his eyes still glacial.

“I will see myself out.”

Rey watched him walk away, hearing the door shut. 

She sat there until she heard Ben come home. 

She battled the dilemma for days — and nights. 

Slowly, their relationship had been kindled, a fire lighting their touches, their magic and souls intertwined. Yet now, through every interaction, Snoke’s proposition was a devil on her shoulder. Rey didn’t know what to do. She wouldn’t ask Luke or Leia, fearing they, in turn, would tell Ben what had happened. He would never trust her again if they did. 

She was a witch, a woman of power, and yet she was entirely bound. Not unlike the ropes that had burned her wrists and ankles what seemed like so long ago.

It was on a clear, moonlit night that Rey sat up, carefully slipping out of their bed. Ben’s scent still lingered in her hair, her underclothes, but Snoke’s words kept replaying in her mind. He was right; she had to get away; she would only cause him more pain. 

She slipped into her dress, erasing his scent with the sweet smell of the meadow they hung their clothes to dry in, and pulled her bag from under the bed. It had been packed for longer than she cared to admit.

Leaning over, she pressed a kiss to Ben’s cheek. In the moonlight, his cheekbones looked marble-carved, his lashes brushing his cheeks as he stirred slightly, before resettling into the natural rhythm of breathing that Rey had come to know so well over the past months.

As she crept down the stairs and closed the door behind her, the house was silent, the night air cool against her cheeks. 

And as she once more became alone in the world, a phrase echoed in her heart and mind.

* * *

_ In the Leaving, there is peace. _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depending on the response I get will depend on if there's a sequel

**Author's Note:**

> Medeina is the Lithuanian Goddess of the forest, trees, and animals. She is a main deity in Lithuanian Mythology. Medeina was a young woman and a she-wolf, also known as a beautiful huntress. Her duty wasn't to help hunters, but she protected the forest, much like Rey had been tasked to do. She also liked to lure hunters into the forest as this young woman, and then turn into the wolf, and kill the hunters. 
> 
> Kovas is the Lithuanian God of War. Very, very little is known about him. I've done extensive research about him, and there is like...nothing. So if you're Lithuanian, and know about him, please tell me more!!
> 
> The background of these gods and goddess have very little to do with the story, I just wanted to explain!
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading! I've been planning this out for a while, and the RFFA finally gave me a reason to write it! 
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment, even if it's just to say hi!! 
> 
> I hope you have a wonderful day.


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